New Year, New Love?
I have just read an article that dubs today (3 Jan) as divorce day. Today is the most popular day for marrieds to call it quits after a tough time over Christmas and the chance to seek a fresh start. The optimist in me was saddened by this, I reckon this time of year is also the perfect time to start looking for love.
I wrote last year about this being the time in which there are major spikes in memberships to dating sites. This first week of the year for many is a time to reconnect with what's important to them and this is often love. It's the more earnest time to be reaching out to people on dating sites because people are the most genuine about finding love.
If you're one of those people who have re-engaged or signed up to a dating site over the last few days, I salute thee! You've dipped your toe in the water and you're ready to see if there is someone right for you. Before the ball and chain, I too would set a goal every new year to join up to a new site. Often this went a little like – set up profile with bottle of wine, find 5 good pics that didn't look like I had consumed too many bottles of wine, write witty profile blurb that showed I was a real hoot , but you know, also serious and looking for long term relationship, I would swipe and swipe, I would chat, I would receive shiz that could be on the Instagram account Tinder Nightmares and then I'd give up for a few months.
It wasn't until January 2016, that I thought 'I've got to mix this shiz up'. There were a few things that I did that I found made small differences but that meant a few more dates came my way. You don't have to listen to me, but here a few tips I thought were easy to do that didn't involve compromising significantly. After all, you want someone who is worth sharing your amazing life with, not just someone who will 'just do', so here they are:
lighten up on age a bit; I had my range being a few years older than me to 15 years older than me. I decided I would lower the age I went for at the time from 35 to 30 and surprisingly found that made a real difference to matches and connections. You might want to up your age a bit too, I am so glad the B&C did for his otherwise we wouldn't have met.
If it's broke, fix it: don't keep going for the same types of guys, ones that you think you might have lots in common with often mean you have too much in common and then you're dating yourself… If someone comes across your desk that you hesitate before moving on from, just try matching with them, you never know what it might lead to.
Don't sign up for everything: I had like 3 sites on the go at one point and that's a full-time job in itself. Try having a go at one or two sites so you're not spread so thin and then designate days where you are more active, I found Tuesdays and Sundays were good days.
Paid doesn't always payoff: how annoying is it to fill out a 6 hour profile only to get a heap of matches that the site proclaims you shouldn't dismiss, and when I say in point two you should try giving guys a go that you normally wouldn't, 73 year old Barry a mere 7 hour drive from you is beyond grasping at straws. You'll find a lot of people on paid sites, are also on the non-paid sites. Not saying you shouldn't try the paid sites, but give the non-paid sites a good go before you invest your time and money into the paid sites.
Outside of dating sites, why not give some IRL activities a go too! I wrote about speed dating last year with We Click events which was a fab experience for me to witness. What have you got to lose, grab a girlfriend / guy friend and if nothing else you'll likely have a few good stories and met some nice people.
Sending all the love vibes your way!!!