The Bachelorette - #plantgate, intruders and the fight for the nice guy
So last week the "old" intruders entered the house and I must say it was a week I was excited for. The arrival of some mature gents sent the young bucks into a spin, especially Jarrod who went 50 shades of red at the mere mention of more competition and less chance to be a stage five clinger (he's been dubbed this by a national audience now) which was a real welcomed moment for moi.
When the intruders arrived via helicopter, perhaps this kind of arrival mixed with the budget Jarrod appears to be given for his gifts in the house (back to #plantgate later) were the reason Channel 10 went into voluntary administration? I was pretty hopeful for early front runners – AJ and Stu.
There were dad bods, there were children, there were bonafide and established careers and there was generally a less testosterone fuelled sense of occasion to proceedings. This was only cemented in the "school yard" challenge where contestants dressed like Angus Young from Acca Dacca and made some paper airplanes and took part in a spelling bee. These activities were sh*t. Where the photo challenge and some of the other more ridiculous dates had heart I thought this was real poo. However, two key moments resulted from this tomfoolery which I loved and where I think we can all learn something from.
AJ's deliberate and super obvious sabotage of his spelling bee (a chef spelling cuisine with a q, genius) played to everyone's advantage. The blokes in the house gave him the silent nod of appreciation of throwing the game to allow an OG guy, Ryan, some time alone with Sophie. He came off winning the hearts of the fellas, super important as they'll throw anyone under a bus given half the chance, but also saw us witness Bachelorette greatness in the showdown between Sophie and Ryan.
Sophster has said from the very beginning she attracts the wrong man, she doesn't stick up for herself enough and has the tendency to let people steer the ship in her relationships because she just wants to keep chillaxed. She's from the Goldy, she's inherently cool. So I was fan girling hard when she called Ryan for what he is. A looks obsessed male who wants someone who looks pretty all the time and is "respectful" i.e. no swearing i.e. someone who keeps their mouth shut most of the time. She called him on his contradictory comments of wanting to find love but constantly questioning her own intentions. Simply put by SM – I don't want to waste my time and you shouldn't waste yours, and off Ryan went into the night, swearing like a sailor in an ironic turn of events.
To further highlight the legendness of this Osher the man formerly known as Andrew G from Channel V sends a stark message to all men – get on the love train or get off it. Game on Moles.
With the chauvinist show down being one highlight two other moments also stole my heart that night. James, nuff said, and #plantgate. We'll start with James because that shiz deserves every bit of airtime he is getting at the mo. When Soph swung by and picked him up in a water taxi, I thought for sure they were headed to James' hometown of Manly to do a "home game" date and check out James in his natural habitat. When she said they were going to do street performing, I went white as a sheet as James' worst nightmare had come to life.
I had 'Nam like flashbacks to my year six talent show where I danced to Chain Reaction by John Farnham with a class mate. We'd practiced for weeks but when the big day arrived, I hung in the curtain wings mouthing "help me" to my mum in the audience and let my class mate pretty much do both of our workloads. It was hideous, and that's what James looked like that day, like he wanted his mum to save him.
But knock me over with a feather, if he didn't come out firing. At one point moving from beat boxing to a surprisingly graceful rhythmic ribbons routine. It was glorious, so glorious in fact that he got a pash AND a rose. Many are calling early that there is not as natural spark between S and J as with other contestants, I get that, but how great is it seeing a financial adviser from Manly winning over the hearts of Aussie women everywhere? Sophie likes spending time with him because he is kind and caring and puts himself out there. He's not Apollo, he's not Blake (thank crumbs) and he doesn't need or want to be. He is who he is and that is absolutely good enough for Soph or anyone else for that matter. Score 1 for the good guys!
Then came #plantgate. Everyone will remember a few weeks back when Jarrod presented Sophie with seeds (eewww) and a plant box and made some speech about keeping shiz alive and growing with each other and sunlight and some other words that became muffled as I slipped further and further down the couch trying to escape his cray. Soph made a light hearted joke about killing a cactus to take the pressure off herself that he was so obviously piling on to keep their plants alive, in a chilling twist, Jarrod's plant is not growing.
Jarrod, who might have been up for a gig on better homes and gardens he talked so much about growing shiz, rallies the gang and asks them to confess who has sabotaged his love plant. He suspects urination might be the determining factor in this, but as the earnest Apollo points out, the plant looks to dry for that. Jarrod goes on and on about how he wants answers and how immature it is that someone has done it, rich coming from a guy that defended his plant nurturing skills saying he gardens with his mummy all the time and his plants never die.
Jarrod is one more brown leaf away from going full blown postal. I feel like he came into the house looking like a 31 year old and on account of the times he has got cranky and gone flaming read, has aged 103 years. Suffice to say he makes me feel uncomfortable and to be frank, like many around our fair nation wondering why Soph is not seeing it.
But I think we might be in luck with the onesie group date. While Bach promos are definitely deceiving, Jarrod appears to again bring up the plant sitch which sees him and Blake go head to head. The funniest thing of all is that I actually think Sophie would find it hilarious that someone has sabotaged his plant, death by wee wee style. It's right up her alley of not taking yourself to seriously and taking the p*ss, quite literally in this case.
Not to harp on with gardening terms, but as we further weed through the contestants, I am feeling like love will be in the air. But who just will it be? With the mix of old and new (read younger) a dynamic has fo sho shifted in the race for Soph finding love. I'll report back post onesie party and or if I am sensing more imminent love sooner.
In the meantime, who wants to make a bet on #plantgate?!